Angel Beltran
English 1A
01-21-09
My most challenging moment in education
When I think of my most challenging moment regarding my education I don’t think of test, projects, or even essays, no what think about are the friends that I used to have. This may be strange to you but the most challenging thing that I ever had to do regarding my education was to stop hanging out with my old group of friends. I made to this decision during my sophomore year of high school when I was struggling with my grades. No body made me do this I made this decision on my own. It was one of the hardest things that I have ever have had to do in my entire life.
When I said that the most challenging moment regarding my education wasn’t about any test that I’ve taken, or projects that I’ve done, or even essays that I’ve written I meant it. The reason that I say this is because when it ever came down to doing school work I never really have had any difficulties with actually doing them. The problem was that I never say doing my school work as a priority so I used to miss a lot of work because of that. This is were my old friends came into the picture because instead of encouraging me to do my work they would always do the opposite and tell me to put it of until later. I had known these guys since junior high and I would usually do what they say because I thought it would all work itself out like it always use to. It turned out that things were very different between junior high and actually high school. Bye my sophomore year I had realized that if I continued down the path I was one that I would not graduate when I reached the end and that’s when I knew what I had to do.
English 1A
01-21-09
My most challenging moment in education
When I think of my most challenging moment regarding my education I don’t think of test, projects, or even essays, no what think about are the friends that I used to have. This may be strange to you but the most challenging thing that I ever had to do regarding my education was to stop hanging out with my old group of friends. I made to this decision during my sophomore year of high school when I was struggling with my grades. No body made me do this I made this decision on my own. It was one of the hardest things that I have ever have had to do in my entire life.
When I said that the most challenging moment regarding my education wasn’t about any test that I’ve taken, or projects that I’ve done, or even essays that I’ve written I meant it. The reason that I say this is because when it ever came down to doing school work I never really have had any difficulties with actually doing them. The problem was that I never say doing my school work as a priority so I used to miss a lot of work because of that. This is were my old friends came into the picture because instead of encouraging me to do my work they would always do the opposite and tell me to put it of until later. I had known these guys since junior high and I would usually do what they say because I thought it would all work itself out like it always use to. It turned out that things were very different between junior high and actually high school. Bye my sophomore year I had realized that if I continued down the path I was one that I would not graduate when I reached the end and that’s when I knew what I had to do.
I had come to the realization that if I continued to be around my friends that I would never get any of my work done let alone catch up on the work that I had missed because of hanging out with them.
your overall thesis for this essay is "This may be strange to you but the most challenging thing that I ever had to do regarding my education was to stop hanging out with my old group of friends" your evidence is that you give many reasons for this being your most challeging thing beacuse as you say, when you were with them you never did your work which was actually hurting your education. you do a very good job axpanding your thesis but you should write longer and give more examples about how it was hard to not hang out with them and about how they were actually hurting your education. you have a great start towards a great essay! i can relate to you beacause i had friends like that the only difference is that i picked them over education.
ReplyDeleteYour thesis was the line about the challenge you had when you stopped hanging out with your old friends. You gave evidence when you wrote the personal detail about how your friends effected you. Maybe expand on your friends and why it was so hard for you. I think you need to prove how much of a challenge it was for you.
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